I’m just going to start by saying that I am SO excited to be sharing the birth story and video and officially introduce the new little sunshine of my life, Emilia Jane! We are all exhausted but so, so happy, and I don’t think there is anything cuter than seeing Sydney as a big sister. Seeing the two girls together…GAH I can’t even handle the cuteness!
This post is going to be kind of long, so get comfy. I’ve also put the birth video in at the end, so if you want to skip all the details I’m writing in the post you can jump to the end. Tony started up a youtube channel a few months ago to document our journey so if you are interested in seeing what we’re up to on a daily basis go subscribe!
We started the morning out bright and early by driving up to the hospital for our appointment for induction. My doctor decided to induce me at 38 weeks and 2 days because of my slightly higher glucose intolerance and some of the issues it was causing. We got to the hospital and I changed into that glorious hospital gown (it is SO fabulous! And I looked fantastic in it.) They hooked me up to all of the monitors and everything then checked me. I started at 2.5 cm and was 70% effaced, the same as what I had been at my previous doctor appointment, so they started a pitocin drip into my IV.
By the time they got my pitocin going it was around 9:30 am. I started having contractions but they were pretty mild and only about 7-10 minutes apart for the first couple of hours. The doctor came back to check me a few hours later and found that I hadn’t progressed at all, which I was THRILLED about (major eye roll here) because every mother-to-be in labor wants to be told they aren’t progressing at all…. When I had Sydney I was in labor all day and didn’t have her until after midnight so I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it would be the same this time around (praise heavens it wasn’t!). They upped my pitocin again to try and help me progress faster.
Thankfully my genius husband brought his tablet so we had unlimited access to The Office on Netflix for distraction. A side note- I watch that show every. single. day. and I will never, ever get sick of it. My contractions started to get worse and closer together, I was having them about every 3-4 minutes and they were painful enough I couldn’t talk through them but it was still tolerable that I could enjoy watching Netflix. Pretty much I felt like I was rocking the whole labor thing.
The next time they checked me I had finally progressed far enough that they could break my water. Queue HAPPY DANCING! At this point I think it was around 1:30ish in the afternoon, I don’t totally remember exactly. I was so worried it was going to hurt because when I had Sydney the doctor could NOT break my water (read more about that torturous event in her birth story here) it felt like I was being stabbed with a crotchet hook over and over, it was horrible. This time I barely felt anything, it just felt like a little pop and then suddenly like I was peeing my pants. To the doctor that broke my water this time, thank you for not torturing me this time around, I am deeply appreciative. 😉
Luckily Anthony happened to be out of the room at the time, he disappeared last time and I found out later he had to run out and throw up! He was armed with vomit bags this time just in case, but as luck would have it he was gone. I like to think the JuJu gods intervened to spare him and the vomit bags remained untouched. Ha!
So they break my water, and BAM! It is almost instant that my contractions are unbearable, I mean HOOOOOWWW do people live through them? How have people been birthing babies for centuries and enduring that kind of pain? I couldn’t believe how fast and hard the pain kicked in. They basically broke my water and then I stood up to get cleaned up (because I definitely did not want to be sitting in a puddle of amniotic fluid with a soaking gown, no matter how glamorous that was looking. My husband was definitely into me right then.) AND it felt like a bomb went off inside me, it was crippling.
Funny how you forget the pain because I definitely didn’t remember it being that bad last time!
I couldn’t even make it through changing into the new gown before I was begging the nurse with tears in my eyes for my epidural. And the contractions were like every minute, I swear! They would not let up! And it doesn’t help that I have no pain tolerance and I whine a substantial amount so maybe I was just being a baby but to you ladies who go all natural, you are absolutely AMAZING and I applaud you. I got the epidural and I still feel amazing for carrying a baby for 9 months and delivering her, but truly you women are superheroes.
Thank heavens the anesthesiologist (don’t spellcheck me on that please) was in super quick and she gave me the epidural. It was honestly pretty painless, other than the crippling pain of having a contraction and trying to sit still through it. And of course when she says, “sit still” I immediately had the urge to sneeze SO bad. I thought for sure I was going to blow and end up paralyzed, but I made it through. Somehow. And I actually didn’t even have the satisfaction of sneezing after! The feeling vanished as soon as she was done- so maybe I didn’t really even have to sneeze and it was just a psychological thing? It’s probably because I’m a crazy person but I can’t be the only one that has happened to, right?
It took a little while for the epidural to really kick in, maybe like 30 or 40 minutes before I felt totally numb. I had a lot of sciatic nerve pain while pregnant and the end of my pregnancy it was really bad, so thankfully the epidural also helped with that but that was the pain that took the longest to subside surprisingly. The contractions got less and less painful with each squeeze until I couldn’t feel them and finally the sciatic nerve pain stopped too and then it was like a flower floating through the breeze in Tahiti. HEAVEN. **insert angels singing here**
Then the next several hours were super uneventful, we watched The Office and tried to rest. If labor could just feel like that the whole time I’d do it over and over. But then I’d have to be pregnant…and that would be a hell like no other kind of hell. So… I won’t be doing it over and over. We watched a few of my favorite episodes (who am I kidding, they are all my favorite.) and I took a nap. Or I tried to take a nap. I kept getting woken up every 20 minutes by the blood pressure cuff which started an annoying beeping alarm every time it went off because of my low blood pressure and it would scream until the nurse came to turn it off. I guess if your blood pressure drops to 95/50 the machine doesn’t like it? At some point I did get my cervix checked one more time a couple hours later and I had progressed to a 6. Woo!
Around 6:30pm I just felt like she was ready to come out, like that urge to push sort of-but it was hard to identify since I was completely numb (again, singing praises of only the highest kind to the lovely epidural. Modern drugs are the bomb.) The best way I can describe it is that I could feel my belly get super tense when I had a contraction and it felt like a bowel movement was trying to be squeezed out, and then the squeezing would stop. Kind of like the baby was prairie dogging. Yep, it’s a gross analogy but that is the best description haha. The doctor came in about a half hour later and checked me and sure enough, she was right there and ready!
I reminded the peeps that were going to be delivering the baby that I did NOT want to touch or see or watch anything in a mirror. That was a big fat NOPE. They started assembling all of the nurses and getting all of the tools ready, and the doctor and two nurses holding my legs decided to do a few practice pushes with me. Anthony was standing dutifully behind my shoulder to be comforting and as far away as possible from line of vision to avoid throwing up, but was armed with the barf bag in his back pocket just in case. He cracks me up.
I did the first three “practice” pushes and suddenly the doctor was telling me to stop and just do very small quick pushes and before I could even think about what she was saying the baby popped right out!
At some point Anthony vanished and reappeared on the other side of me like a magician, because I didn’t see him move at all, but he got brave and wanted to see what was going on better (Go Tony for conquering your fears!) Even more magical than the vanishing and reappearing act was that he even cut the cord. In fact, he made it through the entire affair without vomiting or passing out. He gets serious praise for that, hahaha.
Everything happened so quickly that they didn’t even have all of the people in the room that were supposed to be in there, they were all running in at the last minute or after she came out. Thankfully I didn’t have any complications or even any tearing like I did the last time when Sydney’s shoulder got stuck.
The second they handed her to me I just started crying and feeling all of the feels. You really can’t imagine loving something so much, especially something that made you so unhappy and miserable for 9 months, until you hit that moment when they’re born. It’s completely overwhelming. I was shocked at how overwhelming it was, even though I’ve had a baby before. I guess it’s a little different this time because the first time around I didn’t know what to expect, I felt weird and confused, I didn’t feel….happy. That’s the best way to put it. I didn’t realize just how incredible having that baby was until after I had developed a bond with her, and I had baby blues from the second I had her which formed into postpartum depression, so that bond took a little longer for me to develop I think. This time, I already have the experience of loving a child and KNOW how incredible it is that I made a human, so when they handed the new baby to me it was just an overflowing waterfall of emotions.
She was born on May 25 at 7:34 pm, and weighed 7 lbs. 2 oz. and was 19 1/2 inches long. After all of the nurses left, we had the room to ourselves for a bit before getting transferred to recovery and her name just kind of came to us- Emilia Jane. She has been the sweetest thing ever and the last 6 weeks have been undeniably some of the best I’ve ever had. It’s crazy to me how much this experience has differed from the last time. I think the depression medication I started on has really made all of the difference and if any of you have experienced postpartum depression before or are showing signs of depression and you’re pregnant or just had a baby, I strongly recommend seeing a doctor. Medication may not be the answer for everyone but it was the only thing that helped me pull out of depression last time, and I believe it is what has made the birth of this baby such a beautiful experience for me this time. You can read Sydney’s birth story and how I felt through that process here, and if you want to know more about my experience with postpartum depression after I had her you can find that post here.
Like I mentioned earlier- Tony did a birth vlog video and it is on his Youtube channel. 🙂 I’ve linked it below. He does videos every day so if you want to see more of the baby and our life feel free to subscribe and follow along our journey.
Guys- being a mother is amazing. It really, truly is. Even through the hard stuff. There’s just nothing like it. 🙂 I’m not always the best person, I don’t always know what to do or how to act, I make a LOT of mistakes and I feel more and more clueless every day, but I’m so happy and grateful to be the mother of my two girls and they are the sweetest things in the world.
Tony’s Youtube Channel: Juicebox Tony
Birth Video of Emilia Jane: Warning, it is raw footage- it’s been cleaned up per modesty standards but it’s still a birth video. And I look like a fiercely pregnant whale and am on a lot of drugs. You’ve been warned…. enjoy! 🙂