So many things run through your mind when you first find out your pregnant. Disbelief, excitement, fear, joy, panic… teh emotions are endless and can consume you. Following those emotions come so many decisions. How you want your pregnancy to go, what kind of birthing process you will have, breastfeed or formula-feed, right down to the products you want to use. One of the very first decisions you may face however, is who you want to tell about your pregnancy and when. For some, this decision is easy, but for others it may be more difficult. Really, there are benefits to both telling everyone immediately and to waiting for several weeks until you pass through the first trimester. when I was pregnant, I found myself getting bombarded with advice about everything and really, all I wanted was to be informed with the facts and make my own decisions with what I thought was best. For you ladies who are trying to decide what option is best for you, here are the benefits of both waiting and informing immediately!
The benefit of waiting…
Many people suggest waiting to tell anyone until your pregnancy has progressed passed the first trimester. The reason for this is that there is a much higher risk for miscarriage during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. For this reason, people recommend waiting to tell friends and family just in case there are any complications. In the even that there were complications, if no one had been told about the pregnancy it would save the pain of later having to explain to everyone what had happened. Another reason is it allows you to focus completely on yourself and your pregnancy. I don’t know about any of you, but I find some kind of twisted joy in knowing something someone else doesn’t, it is kind of fun having conversations with people who don’t know you are pregnant and all the while you are thinking to yourself about your exciting announcement that no one else will know for a few weeks! The down-side? It can be SO hard to keep a secret that exciting!
The benefit of telling people quickly…
You are pregnant, it won’t stay hidden for too long! Only between 10 and 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. While we all wish that number were lower, there is still a significant chance that your pregnancy will continue on normally and in less than a year, you will be holding a baby, which means there would have really been no significant reason to have waited. My mother was unfortunate and suffered several miscarriages. The first time she had told several people she was pregnant and then miscarried, she felt the pain of having to explain to others what had happened. The second time she had decided to wait, then when she miscarried again she found herself dealing with the grief completely alone with no one who knew what she was going through. From her perspective, it was worse to be alone, the rest of the world moving along joyfully while unknowing of the sorrow being experienced. A benefit of telling people is that you will have more support in the event that a complication were to occur.
My suggestion…
Only you know what is right for you and your growing family. When you want to share is up to you. I do believe that your partner should be informed earlier on, because hey, they are becoming a parent too! I actually chose to take a middle ground between the two. I decided the few people that I wanted to tell immediately, because I knew i would want their support if anything happened. My parents, my sister, and my husband’s family. I also told a couple of my best friends and my boss at work, as my pregnancy was going to affect the workplace (between nausea, a trillion bathroom breaks, and needing maternity leave!) I waited to announce it to everyone else until I was in the “safe” zone after the first trimester. This is what worked best for me, but every person is different and has different circumstances. Consider your options and don’t feel bad about whatever you choose! If you choose to wait and then your BFF gets upset you didn’t tell her, don’t let it get to you! If you tell people early and you get looked down on for not waiting, just shrug it off. Don’t feel guilty or regret about the decision you make because in the end, you really do know what is best for yourself!