Everyone says there are ups and downs in life, that it is a constant loop of good fortune and bad luck. I guess I see that point of view, but in general I feel like life is more like a constant, uphill battle. Even during the good times and easy parts of life, there is always something we are battling with. Sometimes the battles are personal demons, sometimes they are outside forces, and sometimes it is just a battle for survival in general. Climbing the hill and fighting the fight are part of the fun of life, even when we don’t realize it. There are definitely times the hill might be less steep and the fight is easier, but we are in a constant state of an uphill war. Without that battle constantly on our shoulders though, there would be no room for growth. We wouldn’t learn what our capabilities are or know our own strength. The battle is what gives us meaning in life, without the difficulty to fight against, we would not push ourselves further. Without moving forward, we cease to exist.
I recently did a post on my struggle with depression and how it has been the single worst, most debilitating experience of my life, but every day I fight against it and slowly I have discovered more about myself than I ever knew. Some days are worse than others, but even on my good days I am struggling to get through it. My hope is that someday I will be able to fully overcome my illness, and that ultimately I can look at the experience and say that I have grown from it and learned from it. Even now, I recognize I have learned some lessons from it, even though every fiber of my being wants to scream that nothing good comes out of depression, but there are a few valuable lessons to be learned, and that is the case of any trial you are going through. For example, I have learned to be more compassionate and empathetic for others. I have also learned that my husband loves me more than I thought he did because he has stayed close to me and taken care of me at my worst times, that knowledge alone has changed our relationship forever. I have also discovered some things I find joy in that I never would have discovered if I hadn’t struggled with depression, because I never would have been in a situation to find them. And I have learned that life isn’t about becoming successful to other people’s standards, it is about trying to be your best self and recognizing that your own accomplishments should be your measure of having a successful life, not what others think. Some days all you might be able to manage is lazing on the sofa and having cereal for dinner, but other days you can conquer the world. The point is that even though you might be in a constant upward war, you can always find something to learn from it, something to help you grown, something about yourself, and that makes the journey worth it.